


In Name Alone

by Asraella



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Illustrations, Kira wins, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29459256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asraella/pseuds/Asraella
Summary: Light has defeated Near, but this victory leaves Mikami questioning his faith in his Kami.
Relationships: Mikami Teru/Yagami Light
Kudos: 15
Collections: MikaLight Week 2021





	In Name Alone

**Author's Note:**

>   
>    
> 

Mikami sat on the edge of his bed, the only light to share his room coming from the glow of the moon, so bright the city below looked washed in pale daylight, further allowing Kira to haunt his thoughts.

It had been a few days since Light had defeated those that objected to his reign, beautiful in its execution as gasps of shock and laughter blended into cacophonous echoes in the abandoned building.

The scene was burned into his memory. Light looking down at Near, a triumphant smirk as the words “I win” exacted from his lips, his triumph stunning in the sheer power he exuded.

But in that moment, when adrenaline was coursing hard through Mikami’s veins, it would have been easy to mistake arrogance for righteous confidence, high on the rush of deleting those that opposed his Kami. This was Light’s victory, but Mikami couldn’t help but feel pride surging through him, for all his servitude had brought this moment into fruition. It may have been Light soaking in the glory, but it was not earned by his will alone.

He waited to be praised, to bask in the words that he hoped Kami would lavish upon him and they would walk out of that warehouse side-by-side, a disciple and his God, but when all was said and done, Mikami was simply thanked for his service and asked to relinquish the notebook back into Kira’s hands, not even a backwards glance as Light left him behind.

And now the Death Note was back with its rightful possessor, the one who proudly bore the name Kira and was worshipped as a God by all that believed in his mission to rid the world of evil. It was an impressive victory, but now in the dark confines of his lonely apartment, bereft of Kira’s powers and appreciation, Mikami began to question just how Godlike Kira actually was.

After all, wouldn’t things have gone differently if he hadn’t had the foresight to keep a few pages of the death note safely disguised among the papers on his desk? Though it went against Kami’s wishes, it allowed Mikami to leave the real Death Note in his safe deposit box, giving Near and his people one less chance to discover the real notebook, and it was this foresight that ultimately led to Near’s failure. If he had written Takada’s name in the actual Death Note rather than on one of the scraps he stored away for an emergency, Light could have been met with his downfall instead victory. 

His eyes flickered at the memory of paper burning to ash, taking her name and any evidence with it, the strange scent of apples and dust rising from the flames and filling his room like an otherworldly incense.

How many times did chance work in their favor? There was nothing divine about it. Light’s win was attributed to nothing more than luck.

Night after night, Mikami spent his time in faithful service to Kira, and as his memories flooded his mind, adoration began to turn to doubt. How was he any less of a god than Kira himself? Hadn’t he done as Light would do now that he regained the power of the Death Note, as he had always done before he chose him to act in his place?

No, it was blasphemous to think this way. Mikami was but a human who was granted the powers of Kira, but wasn’t that exactly how Light also gained Kira’s powers? Light Yagami may be beautiful in ideals and in form, but he was nothing more than flesh and blood and thoughts…and now he was just another person that rejected him.

It was a sour realization that he had been left behind, knowing full-well he should be considered grateful to still be drawing breath since he knew Kira’s true identity, a bitter pill to choke down knowing that Misa was somewhere by his side, an unworthy goddess to share Kira’s rule. Was she even necessary to him anymore? Couldn’t he provide everything Kami could ever want or need? He, too, had sacrificed half his remaining life to gain the eyes, to better serve in the name of Kira, knew when to act when God could not of his own accord, and yet he was not the one to be with his God tonight, leaving him to wonder where his place was in this new world that he helped create.

_Light Yagami. Moon Night God. Perhaps you are only god in name alone._

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Mikalight Week 2021-Day 7: Kira's New World, illustrated by the amazing [ Dani!](https://enchantedpendant.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Check us out on Tumblr!  
> Asraella [ @my-one-true-l](https://my-one-true-l.com/)  
> Dani [ @enchantedpendant](https://enchantedpendant.com/)


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